Hobos are Terrible.

Why is it that I am not allowed to punch a hobo in the face? I can punch a dog, cat, owl, or kangaroo in the face and nobody bats an eye. When I was fifteen I tied my sister to a chair and forced her to eat three cans of dogfood and only gave her the water from canned tuna to quench her thirst. I'm pretty sure she still hates me but I never went to jail for it.

But the day I punch a hobo in the face for getting too close to me is the day I find myself in the back of a police car? Fuck that. Hobos made a choice. They chose to not have a job, not have a home, and not wear clean clothes. Many of them will claim they have some reason. They got injured on the job, they have mental problems, their wife took all their money in the divorce. You know what? Stop being a pussy.

Most cities have homeless shelters where people can go for a meal and a warm bed to sleep in. The catch? You have to line up at about noon to get a bed. Hobos don't want to stand in a line for six hours not making money when they could go downtown and take your money. And here's a fun fact: In Canada, homeless people can still collect welfare cheques. These people are all getting money from the government, being paid to then earn more tax-free money from honest workers like me.

It's been suggested in newspapers in some of the cities I've been to (Vancouver and Victoria, mostly) that homeless people who stand on the street for 8 hours make more money than people who work in an office for 8 hours. Something is seriously wrong with that. You think your dollar isn't enough to buy drugs? What about the other 99 people who gave him a dollar today? He just got a whole bunch of cocaine.

So if you give a hobo money which he uses to buy drugs and he overdoses and dies does that make you an accessory to the crime? I'm pretty sure assisted suicide is a crime in most countries, Canada included. This guy kills himself on your dollar, you should be responsible.

Stop giving hobos money. If you're feeling generous (don't) and you want to help some guy out offer to buy him a meal instead. More often than not they won't take you up on your offer because they don't actually want food.

Ever stand in a bus stop and wonder why it smells like urine? Bus stops are the toilets of hobos. You've likely got hobo pee all over your shoes right now.