Dead Kittens are Hilarious.
I've gotta ask, what kind of person searches for information on dead kittens? Well apparently it's a lot. If you're too much of a wuss to click the link I'll tell you and then offer some awesome followup examples:
Results 1 - 10 of about 360,000 for dead kittens. (0.27 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 21,300,000 for awesome pants. (0.28 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 167,000 for assburger. (0.31 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 2,330,000 for cake made in the shape of a penis. (0.34 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 2,500,000 for i think my friend is a terrorist. (0.23 seconds)
Over 21 million hits on awesome pants, over two million on penis-shaped cakes and friends who are terrorists. Dead kittens gets more hits htan assburger. As I was writing this line I thought I should search dead babies and see what comes up but then after I saw that it had 150 million hits I realized there are probably a bunch of sites devoted to dead baby jokes and so the numbers were a bit skewed.
Anyway, dead kittens aren't hilarious and anyone who searches dead kittens should get pictures of rainbows and have their computer infected with a virus that causes the radiation levels in their monitors to make them impotent. Kittens are awesome. And they're so awesome I've made a list of reasons why.
- Kittens aren't cats yet so they actually love you
- Kittens will spend hours chasing the flashlight on the wall
- When you get bored of playing the flashlight game you have the kitten start chasing it really fast and then make the kitten run headfirst into a wall
- If you bring a girl home and she sees your new kitten you'll have a higher chance of getting laid - note if you bring a girl home and she sees your ten year old cat you'll have a LOWER chance of getting laid
- They puff up and hiss when they see themselves in a mirror
The best thing about keeping a kitten is you only need to feed it for a month and then you let nature decide. Like a mother bird, push the kitten out of your nest. If he flies he's ready to face the world and you're ready to get another kitten.
The only exception to the "kittens rule" rule is Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty is the source of all nightmares - but I don't have evidence yet so I can't say that as a fact.
